Why do we fear love so? Love is a fearless entity that takes courage to experience it in its fullness. We so often are afraid of what might happen if that love is not reciprocated, instead of living in the fulfillment of that love and the pleasure that feeling this feeling gives us.. Stop caring about what your peers say about how you feel. SHIT! Fuck, what the object of your love even feels. If it hurts to love them, if it engulfs your heart and takes you to a whole different realm then embrace it!! Let it take over you for once and be free and fearless.
As a human, it will hurt you not to feel the reciprocated feeling. But embrace this too in fact LET it hurt because THAT is part of the feeling that you desire to be fulfilled. You, your neighbor, your mother your best friend, NOT EVEN your LOVER can dictate who you love or how you love them. and to what depth. This should be applied to any portion of your life that you claim to love. DO IT, and do it more relentlessly. Revive love in our lives one heart at a time. You don't have to be the prettiest person to experience love to its fullest. You do not have to be on the receiving end of it even, to understand what it is. All you have to do to revive love in our society, is to LOVE and to do it more fearlessly.
Love has been so tainted over the years by fear, death, regret, and sadness that we have forgotten where love truly stems from. We forget that love is a blind feat that we all wish to fall into someday in our lives. To chose to love is to chose to allow something, someone or somewhere to hurt you to death.
Or will you cower at the power love possesses? will you shy away from that which you have longed for all your life. Will you prevent this realization from occurring in your life due to your own cowardice? Or will you be courageous and seek it at all costs? Nurture love, cultivate it from the smallest seed to the largest tree and live off of its fruits. Then, let love nurture you back to a fearless way of life. Forget the hurt past loves have brought your way and love furthermore fearlessly. Love is a healthy cycle. Approach love, as an accomplishment instead of approaching it as some unreachable goal that exists only in fairy tales.... the depth of love you feel in your life will be determined by your level of courage... if you are not in love today, WITH ANYTHING, ask yourself what have you allowed to keep you in fear. Then abolish it from your life, for, to not feel love is to become a slave to fear. Begin to love to the fullest extent that you humanly can bare.
...love isnt made to be kept secret...
...love isnt made to be avoided...
...love isnt for the weak at heart...
it takes courage to love.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
to One Night Stand, or Not to One Night Stand?
Hello Darlings!
This one is for my single ladies out there. Now, I know that we are all striving to be the best women that we can be. We all want to project that real, down to earth, pure woman with morals, right? That is beautiful and i want us keep it up but just like everything in life, there are limits. Limits to what you ask? Well, specifically in the sex department.
How many of us have a certain amount of dates we MUST go on before we give IT up? How many of us wont give it up until "we go together"? LOL Seriously though, how many of us ACT like we're not giving it up on the first night but are? Now YOU all are the ones who should do some soul searching! But i digress.
Listen ladies. It doesnt matter if you give him some coochie on the first night or after your 3 month "rule". If a guy respects you, connects with you and wants to be with you, he will continue to do so even after he's slept with you.
Also, by you holding sex at such high regard, you then take the attention that you are trying to get him to pay you away from you. Defeats the point doesn't it? The attention, in his mind, is now focused on "I wonder when is she going to let me hit it." or "If i tell her we go together, then, will she let me smash?" or "Shoot, I'm going wait these three dates, toot it and boot it". NONE of these scenarios are focused on "getting to know you" you know why? because YOU took the focus off of you the minute you put a constraint on what should be a natural occurrence.
As played out as this particular saying is YOLO woman!!! give up the cookies(as safely as possible)...and obtain YOUR rocks! you know your bitter horny ass needs em!
Continue to be realistic. i am not saying go out there and have a bunch of one night stands, but why go against what is natural for you? If you're feeling him and you both make each other feel good just let the shit happen. Most men who truly are feeling you, wont even put that pressure on you too early out of respect for you. Oh yeah they do exist! In all you do though, be safe! Now watch Chris and Keri get freaky oww!!
--- Your Girl, Mira! <3
This one is for my single ladies out there. Now, I know that we are all striving to be the best women that we can be. We all want to project that real, down to earth, pure woman with morals, right? That is beautiful and i want us keep it up but just like everything in life, there are limits. Limits to what you ask? Well, specifically in the sex department.
How many of us have a certain amount of dates we MUST go on before we give IT up? How many of us wont give it up until "we go together"? LOL Seriously though, how many of us ACT like we're not giving it up on the first night but are? Now YOU all are the ones who should do some soul searching! But i digress.
Listen ladies. It doesnt matter if you give him some coochie on the first night or after your 3 month "rule". If a guy respects you, connects with you and wants to be with you, he will continue to do so even after he's slept with you.
Also, by you holding sex at such high regard, you then take the attention that you are trying to get him to pay you away from you. Defeats the point doesn't it? The attention, in his mind, is now focused on "I wonder when is she going to let me hit it." or "If i tell her we go together, then, will she let me smash?" or "Shoot, I'm going wait these three dates, toot it and boot it". NONE of these scenarios are focused on "getting to know you" you know why? because YOU took the focus off of you the minute you put a constraint on what should be a natural occurrence.
As played out as this particular saying is YOLO woman!!! give up the cookies(as safely as possible)...and obtain YOUR rocks! you know your bitter horny ass needs em!
Continue to be realistic. i am not saying go out there and have a bunch of one night stands, but why go against what is natural for you? If you're feeling him and you both make each other feel good just let the shit happen. Most men who truly are feeling you, wont even put that pressure on you too early out of respect for you. Oh yeah they do exist! In all you do though, be safe! Now watch Chris and Keri get freaky oww!!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Love on Top
Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! Today i have a story to tell you about settling. Yes, settling. When we hear "settling" a lot of us automatically place "down" right after. Well, I am here to tell you: do NOT settle down until you KNOW you are not settling for LESS! Seems simple right? Not always.
As for my story here it goes: Once upon a time there was a girl subjected to the settling ways of her mother. A behavior her mother learned from her mother. Behaviors are passed to us whether we notice them or not.
Seriously, BREAK THE GENERATIONAL CURSE.
Learn from the misery of others before us, and especially through the misery our parents allowed to be placed in our lives. While these experiences were lessons that have made us aware of how we don't deserve to be treated, the pain and misery almost always is avoidable. More than likely, the misery in our families could've been avoided had someone not settled for less than the family deserves.
Why do we settle in relationships?
We settle in relationships mostly because we feel we will never find a similar or better, love or connection than the one we've found in the person in front of us. Love and trust is already a scary subject all on its own but to go searching for a new one or taking the steps necessary to get rid of the old one? Definitely a painful and frightening hassle. Those of us who find ourselves settling, usually lack self esteem. That lack of self esteem tends to keep us from realizing or even caring enough about ourselves, to see what it is that we need from a partner in a relationship. Thus, we do not demand the things that make us feel good. We settle for whatever that person will give us so that they will stay. However, just because someone is there, does not mean they are committed to making you happy! This false sense of commitment that we feel while settling is a dangerous and unhealthy comfort zone that we mustn't get sucked into.
Who is hurt when you settle?
More than likely anyone on the OUTSIDE of your situation will realize before you do that you have settled for less than you actually deserve. Some friends and family will let us know straight others will take a more subtle approach. However the people who love you the most will be affected by seeing you suffering in a situation that is sub par to what you deserve. No, they aren't hating on your "love". Last but most importantly, our children are affected immensely by our selfish need to "settle" how many arguments a week do you want to subject your children to? how many moments will you go not displaying the love and affection for each other that children NEED to see?
Parents, your child would rather see you happy alone than MISERABLE with THEIR parent! That little girl in the story at the beginning of this post asked her mom numerous times: "Why havent you left my dad? he doesn't treat you right. If you're not happy, Why are you staying with him?" Her moms response? " I love your father" at this point, the young girl is learning that love outweighs common sense and that love is a miserable feeling. In the eyes of this girl looking at her mother, love is lonely, makes you fat, make you cry and makes you hate yourself. At this point any optimistic view of love is skewed all because a mother decided to settle.
FINDING THE LOVE THAT MATTERS
No relationship is perfect but you should NEVER decide that you wont strive to obtain all that you deserve out of what love has to offer you. Even through a relationship's trials and tribulations, each partner should give a constant reassurance leaving no room for questions regarding the love that is felt for one another. When love is real and healthy, there are no questions or second guesses. It just is.
So i bet you are wondering what happened to that little girl and her mother. The little girl then decided she would not allow that to happen to her. The. End. Ok, Im joking. Well into the young girls adult hood, her mother FINALLY realized that settling was no longer in the best interest of the family. She cut all ties with the little girls father, divorced him and never made any further contact. The mother was then steadfast and focused her energy on herself and her family. Loving herself more, her aura of love projected out and brought love in. She met and married a man she did not have to settle for. In the end, gaining SELF love was the MOST important stepping stone of this mothers journey to not settling for less in love.
Do This for You, Not For me I cant even see You!
Ok, This is lame but i want you to do it at least ONCE in your life...when i heard this song i had to do this so you can too plus its a hot song. Just dedicate it to yourself instead of someone else who doesn't even care. Grab a mirror. Look in it. Now say these words and mean it: "You're the one i love, you're the one i need, you're the only one i see, its you, you're the one who gets my all, you're the one i always call, when i need you EVERYTHING stops and finally I put my love on top"
Practice Self Love!
Practice self love for a while before trying to get someone to love you. If you dont know what qualities there are to love about yourself how can you expect someone else to respect those qualities or to love you for them?
As for my story here it goes: Once upon a time there was a girl subjected to the settling ways of her mother. A behavior her mother learned from her mother. Behaviors are passed to us whether we notice them or not.
Seriously, BREAK THE GENERATIONAL CURSE.
Why do we settle in relationships?
We settle in relationships mostly because we feel we will never find a similar or better, love or connection than the one we've found in the person in front of us. Love and trust is already a scary subject all on its own but to go searching for a new one or taking the steps necessary to get rid of the old one? Definitely a painful and frightening hassle. Those of us who find ourselves settling, usually lack self esteem. That lack of self esteem tends to keep us from realizing or even caring enough about ourselves, to see what it is that we need from a partner in a relationship. Thus, we do not demand the things that make us feel good. We settle for whatever that person will give us so that they will stay. However, just because someone is there, does not mean they are committed to making you happy! This false sense of commitment that we feel while settling is a dangerous and unhealthy comfort zone that we mustn't get sucked into.Who is hurt when you settle?
More than likely anyone on the OUTSIDE of your situation will realize before you do that you have settled for less than you actually deserve. Some friends and family will let us know straight others will take a more subtle approach. However the people who love you the most will be affected by seeing you suffering in a situation that is sub par to what you deserve. No, they aren't hating on your "love". Last but most importantly, our children are affected immensely by our selfish need to "settle" how many arguments a week do you want to subject your children to? how many moments will you go not displaying the love and affection for each other that children NEED to see?
Parents, your child would rather see you happy alone than MISERABLE with THEIR parent! That little girl in the story at the beginning of this post asked her mom numerous times: "Why havent you left my dad? he doesn't treat you right. If you're not happy, Why are you staying with him?" Her moms response? " I love your father" at this point, the young girl is learning that love outweighs common sense and that love is a miserable feeling. In the eyes of this girl looking at her mother, love is lonely, makes you fat, make you cry and makes you hate yourself. At this point any optimistic view of love is skewed all because a mother decided to settle.
FINDING THE LOVE THAT MATTERS
No relationship is perfect but you should NEVER decide that you wont strive to obtain all that you deserve out of what love has to offer you. Even through a relationship's trials and tribulations, each partner should give a constant reassurance leaving no room for questions regarding the love that is felt for one another. When love is real and healthy, there are no questions or second guesses. It just is.
So i bet you are wondering what happened to that little girl and her mother. The little girl then decided she would not allow that to happen to her. The. End. Ok, Im joking. Well into the young girls adult hood, her mother FINALLY realized that settling was no longer in the best interest of the family. She cut all ties with the little girls father, divorced him and never made any further contact. The mother was then steadfast and focused her energy on herself and her family. Loving herself more, her aura of love projected out and brought love in. She met and married a man she did not have to settle for. In the end, gaining SELF love was the MOST important stepping stone of this mothers journey to not settling for less in love.
Do This for You, Not For me I cant even see You!
Ok, This is lame but i want you to do it at least ONCE in your life...when i heard this song i had to do this so you can too plus its a hot song. Just dedicate it to yourself instead of someone else who doesn't even care. Grab a mirror. Look in it. Now say these words and mean it: "You're the one i love, you're the one i need, you're the only one i see, its you, you're the one who gets my all, you're the one i always call, when i need you EVERYTHING stops and finally I put my love on top"
Practice self love for a while before trying to get someone to love you. If you dont know what qualities there are to love about yourself how can you expect someone else to respect those qualities or to love you for them?
Friday, January 20, 2012
EXCELLENCE IS A HABIT
Ever wonder how the people you admire became "the people you admire"? have you ever thought "i wonder what so and so has been through to be so great at 'whatever'"?
If you haven't then you should, i mean, unless you want to continuously be the admirer and not the admired....
1: LEARN from your mistakes!
We are human mistakes are inevitable, but what you do after you make them is what defines your character. i HOPE that was self explanatory....(if it wasn't then leave a comment)
2: CHANGE your SORRY ASS outlook on life!
We all go through a slump here and there whether its a funky boss, a child that needs discipline, or a love on the rocks. We ALL get down but we don't have to stay down. 9 times out of 10 the way you feel about your life will show in every action you take. If you feel your life has potential and promise, and you approach each day as a new opportunity to be better at SOMETHING you will project that mindset. With this frame of mind you then WILL yourself in that positive potential direction. But if you forever feel defeated by your circumstances you will distract yourself with so much negativity that you will inevitably behave accordingly. Clear your mind!!! Snap out of your slump!!! Realize, that the gravity of your situation is only TEMPORARY. While you are down, that time should be used for reflection, to learn your lesson and to adjust your projection.
3: APPLY this change to your life as a permanent fixture.
Once you have learned something from your hardship, adjust your way of life then continue on that path. Ultimately, for you to avoid coming back to this place of hardship, it is your responsibility and duty to yourself to make sure your actions reflect your new found knowledge. Encompass yourself with what new things you have learned. Approach every situation be it difficult or easy with the will and optimism to learn something new. By consistently APPLYING CHANGE based on what you have LEARNED from your mistakes you will continue to move upward and onward and always in a positive direction.
To achieve "YOUR" excellence, make CHANGE a habit, never get too complacent with where you are or you will never reach the greatness that you already feel inside. Let it Flourish!
Your Girl- Mira
To achieve "YOUR" excellence, make CHANGE a habit, never get too complacent with where you are or you will never reach the greatness that you already feel inside. Let it Flourish!
Your Girl- Mira
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Welcome
Welcome to my simple chaos. Every level headed woman goes through many different stages and phases in their lives. Each stage is another (more than likely painful) learning experience. I will share not my situations, but the values and lessons I've been lucky enough to learn from them. I'll share lessons learned from my past present and my future...errr...in future posts of course. Hopefully, the quotes, thoughts, photos, videos and lessons i have learned will help you in the same way they have helped me. Maybe they can prevent you from the pain that myself or someone else went through to learn them! To end my FIRST post, a quote from Aristotle. Heavy right? i know but check it:
"We are what we repeatedly do, therefore excellence is not an act but a habit."- Aristotle
(oooh deep) ponder on that til next time!
Your girl- Mira
"We are what we repeatedly do, therefore excellence is not an act but a habit."- Aristotle
(oooh deep) ponder on that til next time!
Your girl- Mira
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